Dancing in the moonlight

=[ my life falling apart. pieces by pieces.

2006-06-22T20:46:00.000+08:00

heya guys. sorri about the previous post.

realli got pissed over the incident... or rather i still m.

coz i m totally lost now... i dunno wads going on.

i wan to noe.. but its the mids now... so i will wait till the mids.

after the mids leh.. well.. mayb i will jus brush up my courage and ask?

this is dumbbbb.. gosh! lol... oks...

now for the '' impt '' thing now... studies... OMG...

lols... woots... if ur out to check if i have been studying anot...

lol... if i tell u wad i haf done so far.. u guys wud be worried sick for me =]

ahaha.. well.. alot things has come and add into my life in a way..

tat make me not feel like studying.. i rather not say to avoid being chop..

one way or the other.. i noe i m a piece of shit now ..

doubt there could be any change...

oh yea... but i m gonna study real hard after the mids..

seems like i haf plans to complete all the tys...

serious le =].. omg.. seldom see me so serious hor?

yikes... anyways.. guess thats all.. i m waiting for mel to dota now..

gosh gosh.. dota dota dota.. world cup world cup .. sleep sleep..

=( no studies .

knnb... fuck it..

2006-06-17T23:06:00.000+08:00

helo beetches and basturds...
my days aint beautiful... i m jus here to complain..
swear and curse.. woo hoo.. well.. i wished..
i could be knocked down and be killed now..
how i wish.. i can jus end my life without me doing any effort..
hais.. fuck it.. bye.. i m done

si bei pek cek!

2006-06-11T18:18:00.000+08:00

hello... hais... dam pek cek with the net...
jus now totally couldn't enter msn/ internet..
wth la... the previous few days cannot enter the internet..
but the msn would still work...
wonder wads going on... dam sian of it le... gosh..
hais... i haven been studyin for goodness..
feel so guilty yet i jus cant bring myself to start...
tell me about mugging.. i will start shunning from u man...
hais... i can predict tat i will do badly for this exam
trust me.. i can read how much effort i put into things..
now i got game le.. i try edit later =-)

heya... hows life..

2006-05-27T01:08:00.000+08:00

yawns.. dam tired.. haven have a good rest la..

lucky the holis are here for me to slp my way through..

woo hoo.. how can i not slp rite.. i love my bed.. love my dreams..

wahahhaa... i mean today going to kik soccer... haha.. 1pm meet em..

they getting new ball i tink.. haha.. dam sian.. i wan slp le.. dam tired..

hmm lets talk abit more first... hmm... wonder...

i wonder.. wads it like now... haha... its weird.. its odd..

but i feel its a good sign.. yawns... but well.. who cares!?

thats wad tern wen will start to say la... if not it wil be..

'' xiao! ''... basket.. its not tat i wan to smile la.. its ur face bast!

lol... u better read this man.. i m scolding u! wahhaa. =)

anyways.. ya lo.. den today dota so much.. didnt even take afternoon nap..

den dam tired now... ugh.. i wonder how many times i said i was tired le..

haha.. gosh... haix.. i wonder when i can start to settle down..

and concentrate on my A's... truthfully.. i m afraid..

i m afraid i dun get into the U... mr kwek was rite...

we haf to do it.. no matter wad... i believe the class can do it..

i hope we realli excel.. i tink wad mr kwek said made a deep impression..

however on that night... i went to dota again.. hais.. i m useless man..

fuck myself.. god dam it..

i go slp le nites..

heya... lol.. been quite awhile?

2006-05-16T00:22:00.000+08:00

yos.. lol.. jus finished washing my face... goodness me..

my face now.. realli dam jia lat.. acne outburst..

i hate this man... come on !! ah yan jie jie! quick come home..

i nid ur facials... and some solution to my face.. ahh..

whole family commentin on my face le.. zzz..

lol... hmmm welll.. doing nothing now lo.. finished gp le..

mine is short.. hope p tan dun scold tml.. lol..

den hmmm sometimes i wonder... realli.. wads happening...

haha... ok la.. true i m not feelin anything much nowadays..

no pain.. i seem to have become more broad-minded le..

altho i still complain to eugene... LOL... well... probably..

thats the best person.. since he is not in singapore..

hoho... well ... sometimes wonder issit normal anot..

but well.. i hope june is beautiful! =)... planning a timetable..

hmmm... muz jia you for mid years le! woo hoo! =P

and my life will be beautiful i hope! may the sun shine brightly! =)

anyways... i tink i go slp le... haven been getting enuff slp recently..

lols..! yeaps... tml spa.. all the best 2s13 and john tan kee nern! lol =)

heys.! ^^ more shallow.. haha

2006-05-13T00:32:00.000+08:00

hello guys! haha.. =) welll... dunno wads it like.
i jus dun wanna tink .. haha.. aiyo.. my brain is rusting ..
hohoho... i dun mind it rusting la.. who cares tho =)..
anyways... today went to kik soccer with mel they all..
lol... ok la.. kinda fun.. but.. my stamina hor.. seriously..
toooooot.. haha.. run run kick dribble.. panting le..
lol... well... aiya... den sweat alot.. its good.. coz i dun sweat le..
haha no more vbal.. no more training... once in awhile nid to xcercise ma.
haha.. =P den tml cfm face black black or else is red red..
coz it was burning hot.. woooo.. haha... but i like it red..
haha =P... hmm den after tat went joels house mj..
den dad called me.. ask me where i was.. blah blah..
said i have been going out far too much.. said i haven been studying..
true la... but... i m realli slacking alot leh.. no motivation ..
haha... den wanted to study abit jus now.. den here comes dota..
so aiya.. den tml lehx... dunno wad my dad will say if i say i go jy hse..
hope he dun start nagging.. amos.. u better f-ing start studying..
or i m gonna lock u at home man!.. lol.. bahhh
tat would be dam xtreemm le... oks.. i go slp le..
tml got chem lect.. stupid eng lect... ahhaha =P cya..

yo.. gold =D

2006-05-09T18:11:00.000+08:00

yos... lol.. so very tired now... hahah....

so satisfied i reached my target.. got all 5 points..

hahaha! =P... my onli worri was kinda my 2.4km..

coz my 2.4 was my more unstable de... so will fluctuate...

lol.. den i realli put in alot effort... or mayb cos shes by the track?

lol .. aiya! got the aim can le.. dun nid reason de.. haha..

yea lo.. so i marked a 10.10.. happy lo!

haha... yippeeee... haha.. anyways hmm so glad today..

no awkwardness no nothing.. still got jiayou on my second last round =P

haha... weee... so good... i dun wan to think so much le..

hurts to think too deep... yea lo.. so now.. i m gonna be a shallow guy..

cannot tink too much into things.. so i wun complicate issues.

hahaha! yippeee * smiles *

anyways.. mayb the world be filled with happiness..

=D - =D - =D - =D

where'd u go!

2006-05-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

lols... in love with this song.. altho this doesnt mean alot to me..
hmm.. i kinda gif the v sad impression.. true enuff... hmm
thinks shes feeling like that over him? haha.. well.. not easily forgotten..
yea.. lol. hmm tml got physics test.. guess wad.. i haven study lo..
jus merely browsed through the notes.. lol..
hope tml at least can do the questions.. coz its definitely not easy..
see the questions for the holi assignment i noe i m dead ...
if the questions were almost similar la..
hope its not.. my life wun be tat hard lol.. anyways..
i got B B E for my Ct2... haha... yea.. can guess which subs issit bah..
of course chem is harder.. so i got E.. haha.. not bad la.. i aimed for pass..
haha... =) best grade i got so far.. altho i noe my maths could have gotten A..
hmm.. tml is my napfa.. wa kao.. boring man!... until 530 la..
hmm hope i get my gold.. if not arh... i will feel dam sad de lo..
boo hoo hoo.. haha... anyways.. yeaps guess thats all for today..
i m on a chips diet project... hahaha =D

harlow! ignorance is bliss. . .

2006-05-06T12:59:00.000+08:00

lols... yos.. yesterday marked the end of my vball 'career'.

we realli had a good time yesterday.. we played with a smile.

ya.. its kinda saddening tho.. u see the fact that we are so bonded.

during the pre-match day.. or weeks u can say.. we were doing things..

all as a team. we were one.. could see us going everywhere together..

now.. we haf gotta move on le. the matches are over.

the memories of u guys would always be in my heart..

it will be one of the best memories i had. and will always be..

awww~ sounds so sad rite? haha.. well.. today its sat and i haf no training!

haha.. alot haf been changed.. guess my wed/fri/sat are so god damn free now.

haha.. seriously.. i realli cant bear to part.. its like so hard.. awww.

this is jus 1 small part of parting.. wad about after the A's

another huge event that we will be bidding goodbye?

i hope thats not all .. frens are once in a lifetime.. frens 4eva! =D

hmm.. recently.. i have been thinking and thinking..

seems like alot haf changed.. alot have been happening..

guess my life is jus lidat... but i guess i have been trying to ignore the pain.

mayb tat might be caused of the fact i m jus so used to it le

haha. aiyo.. i was borned like this. nothing else can be xpected from me.

hmm. i jus hope everything goes back to normal. everything.

i hope i m not being too sensitive tho . =D

anyways. going to watch MI3 with my family den go for bbq.

so yap! time to go bathe.. haf fun guys! love every of my frens! =D

wad m i to do?

2006-05-02T20:27:00.000+08:00

hi guys... the pessimist is here...
hmm.. seriously i m not coping well.. nor doing well..
today jus had my match with aj.. tio pawned..
well.. at least i already let my heart off..
if not i will haf 2 things to shed my tears upon...
truthfully.. m i jus too sensitive that i think of alot things..
everyone keeps telling me.. yea.. amos i tink ur tinking too deep.
but seriously... how can i not think... its realli too odd..
normally it doesnt happen.. or issit that i m taking this too much..
or i jus sense too much into it.. its making me feel so painful..
it hurts so much to be like this..
tml is chem.. and now i seriously dun haf mood to study...
i m in a seriously bad mood... very bad mood... hais

no survival instincts for now

2006-05-01T13:42:00.000+08:00

freak... i m getting real siao liao..

now i having a great deal of pain.. and headaching so badly.

i wonder.. did i do anything.. y ish something lidat happening..

i hope i m thinking too much.. this feelin feels so far..

u noe how hard issit for me now.. i feel like i have done something stupid.

something tat have detered u from me?

seems so to me lo.. everything jus seems to crash upon me now..

my head is aching.. dun feel like studying.. and ur in my mind..

how in the world can i feel good and go and study?

i noe study is impt but.. seriously la.. i haf no f-ing motivation to do it now.

i feel so god damn pissed with myself.. so fucked up..

was it realli wad i did? or ur jus doing something...

but... the more i tink.. the more everything links up..

hais.. fuck la.. amos.. wad did u do.. ?!

hais.. stressed up.. fuck man.. headache coming back again..

i go bathe den slp.. bb.

hmm. did i do anything?

2006-05-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

hais.. seems so funni today.. dunno y lehx..

but everything seems odd.. i feel i m thinking too much..

but well ... i dunno if wad i tink is correct... mayb is jus my cookies..

haven update the fact lo.. den hafta make me tink so much..

diao man!.. sometimes i wonder.. if i did anything wrong..

ahh.. was like thinkin and thinkin to figure out..

but as i tink.. the more confused i get.. mayb i m jus a shit hole?

hai yo... dam sian.. den now.. i dun even noe wads going on..

hais.. hope everything goes fine tml morning..

i realli .. cant survive lidat... ahh...

wells... hmm.. jus had my maths paper on sat..

i realli tink that paper can score lehx.. but den as usual.

my results come out will be B or C.. coz alot careless mistakes?

i tink ez coz i might have any o how applied the formulas..

without using my pea brain.. dam sian...

hope that i will get wad i xpect leh.. den chem is on wed..

my whole week is blasted with activities..

tues wed and friday got match... tough matches sia..

den.. wed morning got chem paper... so my wed is jus go skool.

take paper den go match le.. den friday... go skool take paper..

den go match abt 1.. yawns~~ boring la...

means i onli gotta haf a full day on thurs sia.. wahhaha..

diaoo~ recently i oso cannot catch up with my homeworks.. hais.

dumb ass amos.. go eat shit la! T.T.

i go see show le.. ciao..

haix..

2006-04-21T16:24:00.000+08:00

why.. why m i so fucked up..

shit myself.. probably i shud juz not go..

i suck... haix

zzz. when will all these stop?

2006-04-20T13:41:00.000+08:00

yos! haha... today ct2 over le..

but. mine still haven start yet... dam sian man!!!!

when ppl are enjoying. i would still hafta study..

well.. who cares! wahahaha.. i oso havent been studying.

everyday reach home. on the comp. go you tube..

watch inuyasha... haha.. everyday is lidat..

wad can be accomplished from me...

den we are supposed to go school these days to study mah..

ended up i only touched maths throughtout la..

lol.. hmm.. oh yea.. we beat sajc 2-0!!! =D

good job guys... anyways i will try not to be that nervous when we play nyjc.

wahahhaa... paiseh la.. first time playing lehx! =/

anyways... sometimes when ppl tok abt it once twice..

its funny.. it can be hurting.. but once or twice.. i jus take it..

stop repeating urself... its not like i m enjoying... ur the one enjoying.

i m the one suffering.. hai... although i noe i m oso lidat.. but..

lol.. seriously i m changing.. mayb cannot see onli =D..

haha... anyways.. i go watch inuyasha le... wee .. den i go nap!!!

shuang rite? wahahah... cya!!!!

tml playing nyjc le.. guys.. we can do it man!!!

SR OSHH!!! !!! =DDD

woo hoo... lol..

2006-04-10T22:10:00.000+08:00

well.. i tink i m trying not to think..

i muz be confident.. lol.. well thats wad jocelyn told me..

hmm.. i m trying not to think le.. lolz..

i m ought to be kinda sad now.. haha.. but i m kinda tinking of the brite side.

well.. i might feel happier this way.. i hope ^^

sian man.. my hair now.. realli is a pile of mess..

realli cannot stand or style it.. i trying to pull it back..

den by the time i reach school.. my hair is in center parting again

lol.. wad to do leh.. i dun feel like cutting lehx.. but feel like cutting.

lol. how ironic.. but well i guess this is life.. my fringe... kinda short..

and i dun like the way i look in short hair.. kinda funny..

my face tend to appear longer.. hmm shud i cut? come on!

some 1 advice me man!!!! woo.. tml i trying something funny..

i tried it while i was bathing jus now... i call it bao zha tou! haha..

ok.. lame.. but... i wonder will my hair stand tml leh..

try try la.. haha... tml kena screwed by p tan den i go cut hair

hahaha... diao.. i m so bo liao sia la... hai yo..

anyways.. i go walk my doggie le.. weeeee..

pebbles chan!!! cya all.. take care..

stay happy ^^!!!

hai. plz dun do this to me.

2006-04-06T18:14:00.000+08:00

haix.. dun tell me dejavu is gonna happen again?
hmm.. i realli hope not... losing the closeness with some1 is painful.
but come to think of it... i tink its juz a matter of time.
but. i seriously feel tat i m a jinx. y muz such things happen..
haix. i m reawlli worried... hmm.. haix..
i hope i can help u with all my might.
and i oso wanna do well for my A's..
i dun tink i will be able to go anywhere if i dun work hard.
my parents work so hard... y should i drain their hard earned money
by studying overseas when i can haf the opportunity here.. haix.
but i feel i m too dumb to score.. omg.. haix..
anyways.. i hope everything goes well.. for i dun wanna feel the pain.
its painful.... haix.. i juz tink too much.. i suck at this man..
haix.. i go bathe le.. blardy seb/zh and tw... hug me with their sweaty pe attire..
ahhh ppooof! nites!

wa kao.. dam sian..

2006-04-05T20:07:00.000+08:00

yos! haha.. sorri team.. today i seriously couldn't run.
i actually feel the muscle strain in the last 50 m lidat..
i wanted to catch up... but.. i wasnt anywhere near..
haix.. worst.. when passin the baton. i pushed yl i tink.
den he lost his balance.. den he fell down.. haix..
blardy amos.. blardy fuck man... den now my muscle like 1 raw piece of meat..
so soft.. so aching.. haix.. i dunno lehx.. i feel like i hai the whole team..
now vball oso .. i feel i oso hai em.. diao... i m so dumb..
such a sucker of me rite? haha.. anyways.. yea..
now i m dam tired.. tml got chem test.. still muz hand in spa for physics..
yawn yawn yawn~... i go do now le.. cya!

heya. sad again. haha

2006-04-02T19:06:00.000+08:00

heys. jus finished my dinner.

my mum cooked de. haha. it was nice.

hmm however i m not realli in the mood for good food.

whenever i jus shut my eyes for 1 second.

something flashes back. its a realli painful sight.

i realli dunno wad to do. i probably jus wait.

coz i realli feel close with u. i hope i can change ur impression.

whenever i tink of u. it kinda make my heart sink.

i wanna tink of u and making me happy.

thats all i ask for. i jus wan the chance.

but first of all. i still think i wanna understand u better.

or i will be like a fool. coz i m 1.. and i sucks at everything.

haix.. anyways. i go mug le.

cyas..

its. back.

2006-03-27T22:16:00.000+08:00

hey all.. finally i m back to post...
well. practically i onli post when i m sad..
seems like its been awhile since i posted bah..
i never reali felt sad since school reopened.. for some reasons.. which i dunno
but.. now.. its back... its backk... i tot i changed.. i tot i got rid of the sad nature..
i got sad again for freakin no reason.. listenin to juz a song..
i could feel tears near my eyes when i start thinking how pathetic i m.
i m like so god dam fucked up...
my studies is shit.. i m treatin my frens like shit..
i m crap.. i m 1 whole piece of crap.. call me crap..
i dun wanna be crap... haix..
CT2 is like 2 - 3 weeks away... how prepared are u amos seah?
i have not done any tutorials for physics.. maths.. and chem...
wad u aimed for this year amos seah?
3ple A... realistic? or juz something u feel like being proud of.. aiming for 3ple A..
and getin F results?...
i noe... my life is full of irony which i created myself...
i m dumb.. useless.. powerless..
cya..

sad life.

2006-01-16T00:20:00.000+08:00

haix. as u noe. my life is full of misery?
well. another dissapointing year is gonna come.
this year a lvl le.. wad else do i concentrate more on den studies..
but. how could i concentrate when i m feeling so moody. so down.
haix.. somethings aint eazy to get over with. u say u can do it.
u end up feeling worst... i feel like shit nowadays.. go to school..
find my way through the school at the end of the day.
nothing seems to go the right direction i wan it to go..
the more i tink. the more sadness comes. but how can anyone not think?
for 1 reason. i realli feel so useless.. i realli feel tat it not juz a crush..
its not a infactuation... i dunno if i m wrong.. but i still end up without a chance..
guess theres no chemistry in within? but haix... m i so horrible?
so disgusting? so ferocious for me to haf a chance?
ah... well... now there are jus somethings that flow back from the past..
i realli dunno if i shud recognise it... mayb its juz dumb feelings..
i simply come on and off for the past 3 years... wad m i to do?
haix.. anyways.. guess its kinda late le. i go grab my nap liao..
tml will be a long day... =(... take care...

haix. life. ignorance? feigning ignorance shud be the word.

2005-10-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

yo!.. hi guys. tired of mapling le. so came here.
oso dam sianz. was facing the chinese book.
totally no mood to study.. how to do it lehx.. grrr..
the feeling is tensed now. haix. i feel like not bothering.
yet i feel i cannot do it. feigning ignorance makes me suffer.
i dun wan to suffer pain.. lurching down my stomach.
haix. i dunno wad this feeling is.. i guess nothing is going to turn out fine.
i juz noe tat. always its this feeling and this comes to an end.. i guesss.
this time it would also be the same. unless some miracle happens..
anyways. lets start with some happiness..
i gonna remake my blog soon le ^^.. now finding my perfect picture.
den slowly edit things lor.. hmm slowly lar.
tink u can see it after monday.. shud be quite nice.
altho like usual it would be a sad image.. like mayb my display pic on msn.
=) i juz love sadness.. i go maple le.. find dannY!! wootz.. cya

=/ sigh of relieve.

2005-10-24T23:54:00.000+08:00

=/i dunno if i shud haf this kinda feeling..

sigh of relieve to know that it isnt wad i think.

haha. true enuff . but i still kinda dun feel like doing anything.

hmm. however. i feel gals are never ignorant no matter how blur.

haix.. guess i better juz shun her.. =/

hmmm. glad that i manage to get joel back into maple.

=) we can all play together again!...

haha. and as for my class. dun worri.. u all will surely promote!

=) and for all those preparing OP now.. i wish u all luck.

and i tink i nid to bless myself abit. i oso suck at OP lar..

haix. tml i bringing my sis lappy to school.

can play maple le.. lolz .. =/ dun kill me guys..

juz watch me play =/ lOl.

theres 1 thing still bothering me badly.

haix.. guess this place isnt somewhere i can confide le..

=/. well... sianz...

tml gotta face my teacher who has a bald head and a mole in the middle.

FOR LIKE 7 HRS... WTH MAN... ughh lolz..

kz.. i go slp le.. nite nitez... =)

- wo jiu jue ding ni shi wei yi nen zai wo de xin le -

haix. suddenly i feel very sad.

2005-10-20T21:29:00.000+08:00

haix. i feel so sad today. guess the same old usual feeling is back.
i dunno y. i juz seem to feel life is so pathetic.
i dunno wad i live in this world for. i realli have no idea.
haix. recently never update blog coz i have been mapling.
den now i cannot enter maple due too congested server so came here.
haix. now i feel more and more pessimistic.
everything doesnt seem to fall properly into place.
i noe its impossible for anything to go on smoothly without effort.
but i dun even have the confidence to continue. how can haf effort.
haix. wad is life all about? i simply dun noe..
ughh.. enuff of such stupid things.. watched bleach 54 le...
guess all bleach fans muz be waiting for 55 =).. haha..
yea... dam nice... woootzz... dam sian..
still haf 7 days more den can see =S ughh..
haha... sometimes i wonder whether the light will shine upon me...
guide me through this tough and difficult road. i dun wan to be caught.
anyways promos is a bad thing .. got B for physics. B for maths. F for chem.
haha.. i noe chem dam jia lat... dun laff =X... lol i got 34.4 hope pull to AO.
den for maths i dam dissapointed i aiming for A.. den lidat.
when i looked through alot of careless mistakes.. i can go eat shit le.
physics lehx.. i guess i m probably happy with that result.
hmm.. i jus wish that my whole class will proceed into 2S13..
after almost 7 months of bonding le. anyone who dissapears is sad..
altho i noe no 1 will not be promoted ^^ all will go to 2S13!!!
haha.. as for those bros that did not do well.. like joel, les and tern..
muz jia you le ... we work together... do all the best to get the best result.
theres still next year.. ^^.. anyways.. love u guyS!!!!
i go try maple le.. it better work infront of me.. or i will blog another time liao.. LOL

- . - sianz... v sianz...

2005-10-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

hmm lets say i m bored... haix...
i realli dam sianz lar.. mapling now but cannot kill things
so i leeching lanz, les , and yt.. lolz thnx guyz.
haix.. as for somethings i realli feel like so hopeless lolz.
hmm... anyways.. i m a noob in dota ass... dun ask me for opinions.
i can go die le.. dota = i noob.. zzz haix.. sianz..
i muz be optimistic.. i dun wan tink so much le...
agghhhhhh oMG..... sometimes i realli dunno how much i suck..
haix.. m i so pathetic.. omg.. i suddenly like feel sad again.. omg..
anyways i tink i chaning blogskin after tuesday..
tink i gonna make a bleach blogskin.. make sure it rox to core!..
haha ^^... anyways i guess i will juz wait for the opportunity ^^..
bless me .. take care guyz... anyways if this web got pop up tell me..
i wan make sure no pop ups.. ^^.. thnx.. ciao guyz

(^.^y) .pretty.normal.

2005-09-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

heya!tink it has been quite awhile since i blogged.
havent actually been doing anything much for my promos lor.
hmm. today went to school play around.
when i actually started to do my work. den nordin free - __ -
in the end go there ask a few questions i play around le.
although its true i gained some knowledge. =)
den after tat FAT joel wanted us to pei him go kovan eat.
coz he never eat breakfast and lunch and gif us the sympathetic look.
no choice lar.. who ask me to be such a sweet guy =).
after that the rain came. dunno how come got so suay de.
den kinda lucky the rain stopped coz i hafta take bus and walk a bit.
if it was to rain. i would be dead drenched.
anyways. recently nothing happening much.
like usual. i miss euu so dearly. miss everything of eurss.
hmm anyways. lolz. good luck guys! the promos is jus 2 days time.
work hard and achieve something good! promotion is the most important!!

pain.in.my.heart.

2005-09-21T20:07:00.000+08:00

haix. i dunno wads this feeling again.

causing so much pain in me like usual.

i know i tink too much. but how can u do without thinking?

its just life. how can u even stop thinking for 1 second.

i just simply dunno wad to feel. i tink i m lost and confused.

it jus cannot be explained. the pain thats hidden in within me.

i never knew how to unentangle the knot in my heart.

i realli haf no idea wad to do. wad not to do.

really afraid that i would constantly feel the pain.

i dun wan to. i realli wanna jus wan keep this searing pain outta me.

how do i even try to be happy. even if it was it would be short.

but wads the use? the pain is so powerful not onli my mind feels it.

but the area near the heart aches at time. i wonder whether i will die.

die of sadness. i really dun wanna live in my current status.

i just haf every single thought that is so negative.

so incurable. so disgusting thoughts. thoughts that troubles me.

make my mood bad. make life difficult.

slowly i sense i m losing grip. grip hold of me please.

lonely.under.the.round.moon

2005-09-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

heya... recently i have been super out of luck man....

yesterday. came back from school den bring ternny along coz he wan dota.

den my dad came back. my parents dun like ppl in my house de.

suay - . -. worst. supposed to leave house to meet ben they all coz ben bday.

den last min cannot find my wallet. omg.. i got so suay de marh?

hmm den dad kept scolding bahhhh... had fun with em. ate fish and co.

after dat came back.. sit down by the comp saw audrey online den toked...

toked abt my lost wallet. den abt 3 mins later i went to find again.

guess wad? i jus lifted 1 piece of paper and i found my wallet..

goodness gracious.. shes lucky =/ haha.

now dam jia lat.. my room light keep flickering. zzzz

y so suay!!!!!!!!!! arhhh.. i studying physics lehx..

i think they dun wan me to study bahx.

goooodddnnnessss meeeeeee.

anyways today is mid autumn fest. supposed to try something.

but i guess i didnt have the courage to do it. or mayb its jus not time.

well. i simply miss her =S... haix..

anyways i go study in the flickering lights le..

ciao.. take care..

that.lousy.as.a.fren?

2005-09-13T21:28:00.000+08:00

haix. recently been having bad days.

tinking abt whether i make a fren to others.

sometimes i wan someone to talk to. i just simply cant find 1.

no one lends me a ear. its like i feel dam retarded.

den today i saw something. a usually sitted beside me fren always slpin.

but was sitted with another fren was not slpin this time.

he was still very happy. so wads wrong with me.

i m probably the worst failure in everything.

i cant be a good person. i cant be a good fren.

i m nothing but a weakling hidden behind the shadows.

why the hell m i feeling so negative today.

haix. went to study with huilin today.

went to serangoon gardens lor. the mac there.

went to chomp chomp eat first b4 studying.

today treated huilin. cannot treat her anymorre le.

now i left 2 bucks for the whole of this week -.-

lolz. well den like usual she start telling me stuffs.

hmm.. sometimes i jus wonder.. how come she can confide in me so much.

yet i couldnt bring myself to tell her much abt my things.

or probably there was nothing much for me to say abt.

too minor for her le bahx lolz. den studied till 830..

but never realli concentrated so hard lolz.

play abit. let my mind run around. lidat lor.

den i studied abit for my chem. ughh.

i couldnt do much questions lar... omg...

i still gotta read up my solubility product.

='(... lolz. waiting for glen to dota now. ughh..

i tink i go bathe first bahx. take care nitez... sllpin early tonite.

kuchiki. rukia.

2005-09-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

lolz. see title u tink very funny name rite.

onli bleachers noe abt this babe! lolz. haix.

currently i am like feeling so depressed. ughh.

lets tok abt rukia.. lolz recently been watching bleach.

den i start to like rukia more and more. she rox.

haix. everyday see the anime see her staring outta the penitance window.

she realli wish for ichigo to save her lar. haix.

y lidat. they are a couple y muz chai shan ta men.

haix. rukia... sometimes i realli wish to be ichi man.

realli if i could do something for her to risk my life.

i will do it. i dun mind dying. its like so painful to be apart.

haix. dam today never study much. got 1 gay come my house ka jiao.

haix. it seems to be i m a sucker.

i realli got 1 thing i wan to do now.

its that if i could bring euu to the field near my hse at nite

i realli find that place so fun to be. tok the whole nite.

if i could i will be very happy. =D haha. but i noe its impossible.

life is never ez. =D . i will strive for it tho =D. i tink i go do abit maths le.

ciao.. nitez..

guilty..so guilty

2005-09-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

YO! lolz. hmm. these few holidays are rather scary for me.

the promos is in like 2-3 weeks time. yet throughout the holidays.

havent even touch 1 chap of things lar. now feeling so guilty.

for the past few days i was chionging bleach.. super nice.

lolz. now lehx.. simply no mood to study sia. how ne!?

i guess i m gonna suffer the most miserable death if i dun start any time soon.

aiyo. anyways. i went out with the soggy clan yesterday. altho i not part of it.

went to marina to eat. hmmm. this time i didnt eat that much.

more of toking cock. lolz. den play arcade. left the place like 1125.

lolz onli den got bus. reached home at 1220 lidat. =D not that late bahx.

hmmm. den msg her good nite. she replied.. den i msg back . lol

nothing came le. guess she fell aslp. lolz. haix.

anyways i mayb try go mug now

hurhur.. lolz impossible.... okz.. cya

boring.holidays.

2005-09-05T16:32:00.000+08:00

yoz! the "holidays" has started...

god... first day of the "holiday" 8 - 4. wad a perfect holiday=.=

haha. had maths lect followed by GP followed by Physics.

maths lect was boring. was doing my work there. didnt bother to listen.

lolz. it was probably a period for me to finish up my tutorials.

sianz. i found out my maths deprove a whole lot.

now i m practically poundering hard on every single questions.

ughhh. den went to eat at coffeeshop. eat chix rice.

the chicken was so bloody lor. but lucky never drip blood.

lolz. den ran back for GP . it was like 1029 at the coffeeshop.

thought we would die lor. so ran. lolz. den here comes the worst day of my gp lesson.

i tink my slides on gun culture was simply contradicting. i shud go and die manx.

caused the whole of my group to kena. haix. y m i so dumb?.

den after gp went to kovan to eat. lol decide on wad to eat already 130 le.

den we decided to go mac. where my 6 buckz flew away. lolz.

da bao. coz got no more time le. lolz. i finished my food b4 reaching the lt.

xcept for joel, les, zheng, winnie. all finished. lolz.

dey were eating in the lt lorx.. lolz. as for winnie.

i think she too guai le. wun eat in lt. saw her biting her burger only after the tut.

=S. guess she muz be very hungry. lolz =D.. anyways ya..

guess thats all that happened for today. lolz.. tml is a bad day. chem test!

ughh. as u noe.. chem is like my worst subject lorx. WORST. realli mean WORST.

lolz. later going to study real hard for it. i realli wanna pass this test by myself.

for the past few lect tests, i have been peeping over to RJs paper lar.. lolz.

now muz try to be independent. see whether chem still got hope anot.

coz if cannot even get C for chem. how to go university?

haiyox... anyways. guess i better go slp first. at nite den study for my chem.

haha. yupz! nite nite! =D good luck to all taking test tml!

zhen.gao.xin

2005-09-01T00:32:00.000+08:00

^^ today is a special day..

happy i should be. haha. i did it!

at first i dam scared lar. run out of topic.

den after dat tok to her den still find it ok!

haha. not that scary anymore. still tok until very light hearted.

haha. ^^ thnx alot for pei-ing me.. =P

hmm. today teachers day arhx. kinda boring.

srjc concert abit crappy lar. onli dance nice onli.

the rest was like boring! haha.

den after that meet with mf ppl go mf lorhx.

like usual go there see teachers! tok crap with those frens =)

long time since we met probably i tink i miss ronnie most!

haha. my bro lar in sec school. now he in yj.. i in sr... haix.

boring lorx. went back oso suay. kena raped twice lar.

bloody hell. 1 time de wei they all.. another 1 mel they al...

zzz. y so suay!. mf = horrible memories!!!

den after dat went to danny's house. go play dota.

den play fifa. lolz. danny its all luck u win me lar!

i never use real skill.. next time den i show u =).

haha. at nite super happy lar! =) dun tell u all y..

but i m juz happy =). hehe.

i tink i better take my leave le. take care... nite nitez !!

wo.zai.xiang.zhe.ni

2005-08-30T20:53:00.000+08:00

hi. so dam suay man. remember my old blog spot?
today i wanted to get that skin into my current 1.
coz i found out i cannot be that kai lang. =s.
i prefer my sadder image. coz i couldnt bring myself to be happy.
but guess wad? i actually cannot remember the login id. bah
den keep trying. den still cannot make it. zzz.
lolz. in the end i guess i haf to stick with this skin liao.
yesterday at vball i dunno wad happened lehx..
around abt 6+ i suddenly fell to sadness. or rather it fell upon me.
i was like so quiet. i didnt wan to care abt anything at all.
but wads worst. i dunno wad i m sad abt.
during the water break. i sat there for awhile.
i could feel that i wanted to tear le. i oso dunno wad feeling was tat.
mayb solitude. but i really didnt noe wads the main cause.
haha. i know it sounds so impossible. but i realli happened.
anyways. i dunno wad m i to do. i feel so sianz.
i realli wanna try. but seems so far... haix.
anyways go le... ciao.. =) tc..

freaking.pushed.the.limits.

2005-08-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad i hafta say. i realli tot u would stop.

i never knew i would end up this pissed.

i never knew u could actually do this over and over again.

haix. i tried to stop u. it never seems to stop.

probably everything started with me. everything.

i shud not haf done anything to u. i shud not haf.

i probably regret tellin u my things.

i never knew i had to suffer so much.

i was having my dinner juz now. i ate i felt so pissed whenever i tink abt it.

realli... i noe it all started with me.

i m probably gonna start a new self. u probably wun hear me toking anymore.

i m just the shittiest person on earth. fuck myself. dam it.

- fucking off -

ai.heng.jian.dan

2005-08-24T20:19:00.000+08:00

yoz! haha. today had chem spa. dam sianz.

i tink i forgotten to write down 1 point lar..

sure lose marks le.. dam. haix. my previous chem spa oso cock up.

now lidat. ugh. its like 5 weeks from promos loh...

i tink this week still can afford to slack abit.

next week onwards muz be determined to study liaox.

if not arhx.. haix. i dun wan to tink abt the consequences.

haix. anyways today seems to be a bad day for me.

i tink her frens noe le. they always gimme that weird look.

or mayb its jus my imagination. but they realli seem to be toking abt me.

haix. anyways. i juz hope nothing changes.

i better go study liao.. good luck to those who gonna start a cramped schedule. =)

i oso mayb handling cramp schedule.. haix. anyways.. cya den. tc.

- really dun wanna change anything. all i wish. -

why.muz.it.be.like.this

2005-08-21T00:54:00.000+08:00

yawn.boring.nothing to do now.
haix so decided to blog le lorx. kinda sianz.
joel asked me a very good question just now.
who is my closer friends. i was thinking who would it be.
i started thinking. i found out i realli couldnt pick much.
i probably have jus ternwen.joel.danny. yea. thats the few.
i know i cant be a good fren. so i wun haf close frens.
i m a pathetic person with a pathetic personality.
sometimes i really wished i changed my attitude.
some people totally dislike my attitude. but i dunno why.
i realli dunno wads wrong with me. i have no idea at all.
haix. anyways. there was one time i saw the mtv channel.
it was showing green day- when sept ends mtv.
watched it and it was so touching. the guy was not very rich de.
but the gal didnt mind. however. the guy went to war for money.
where he might lose his life. they argued.. how sad.

Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends Lyrics

Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.

Like my fathers come to pass,
Seven years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.

Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rests,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.

Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.

Ring out the bells again.
Like we did when spring began.
Wake me up when September ends.

Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rest,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.

Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.

Like my fathers come to pass.
Twenty years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends

study.for.the.sake

2005-08-18T20:29:00.000+08:00

again. i m back. yesterday didnt blog coz vball tiring.

had to study for the physics test. haix.

today took the test. guess i did pathetically. never seems to go well.

yesterday kinda happy ^^. but today not happy.

rather i m sad. sometimes i wonder wad type of person i m?

i realli wanna noe wad ppl think abt my char?

m i realli that bad to be living on this world? to be leading this life?

m i not worth the every breath i take? taking up ppls fresh air?

i realli dunno. i realli wish to understand myself better.

dam it. aiya. fuck it man.. i dun tink i gonna freaking care.

i m never going to do anything in future.

gonna reduce myself to a low- profile asshole.

- really need u, i really hope u come -

worned.out.and.totally.battered

2005-08-15T21:42:00.000+08:00

ughhh! something so disgusting happened yesterday.

i went downstairs to watch chelsea vs wigan.

stupid chelsea got so lucky they scored in the last 20 secs.

dam it. lolz. den it was abt 1 am le. den i went to bed.

i was lying on my comfy bed in the aircon room.

but i could not turn in. -___-"...

if usually cannot slp i will end up dozing off at 2am lidat.

but this time dam jia lat. 3am passed like so dam fast. 4am came.

i noe the time coz my parents watch had hourly alarm.

den everytime hear den noe le. today head to skool dam tired.

forgot tap ezlink when i came down. ughh...

although 2hr of the short slp. i still managed to keep my eyes wide open for the whole day.

but now. abit tired le. coz after vball den mayb used up energy.

yawn yawn~ still early but i turning in le =s...

take care... nite nite... i tink i drink campbell soup first =s.. piGGiex!!! =D

- made sense when i was told. i promise i will say hi -

hmm.boring.tests.

2005-08-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

yawn. tml maths test. how boring can it ever get.

every week test test test. sat was GP. tml is maths.

thurs still got physics. ughh. promos drawing in soon.

realli feeling dam guilty for not studying. i dun wanna stay back.

haix. sometimes i wished i had not been easily influenced by certain things.

like games frens etc. haix. dam bored now. oso dunno wad to study.

do a few questions on maths already very sian. den suddenly alot dunno.

ugh. tml ask mr chong think he will scold oso. the question seems ez lar.

haix. i feel so pathetic. i wish tmls paper i can manage.

i dun wan to fail it. i have high hopes on maths. i dun do well den very sian le.

now everything piling up. i dunno do alot oso. worst and worst. ugh.

anyways i take my leave le =)... take care. all the best to all those taking maths tml =).

- when my eyes are closed, my mind is twirling around u. -

boink.

2005-08-13T17:36:00.000+08:00

hello.i m back. recently i very sad lar.. haix

i now at danny's house. juz came back from buying vball shoes.

haha.. went dere tok alot crap. lolz.

then we were there jiao weiing to joseph abt dota. HaHa

we tell him crap shit like VS can swap fire bush den it will be very powerful.

haahaa. i noe we all very bad. lolz.

haix. den dunno y from den on very sad liao. almost like dead le.

i no more life liao. if i lose the chance. i dun tink i will ever be happy le.

haix. life is always very sad =(.. anyways take care.

finally.knew.

2005-08-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

another rather bothersome day for me.
i finally found out wads the diff between my blog and others.
the diff is that i post when i m sad. onli sad things.
seldom do i post my happy moments.
i feel that this blog is very impt for me to confide evrything into.
i realli felt that without this blog i would be totally gone.
today. a surge of sorrow enters my heart.
i realli can feel it hard . i dunno why. issit juz me?
yearning for u. high hopes. all dashed. =S
i shud not haf raised the high hopes at all.
however i realli wished u come up within the time b4 i slp.
i believe i realli makes my heart thump with joy.
tml is e-learning day. can stay at home. lolz. morning got P.Tan lessons.
1045. ugh... thats so early lar..
yawnnn.. lOlz... hmm glen told me i got seriously heavy eyebags.
ugh.. aiya no choice lar. i simply play till i dun slp.
i realli hope my maple acct gets banned. den no nid play le.
coz i still got slightly more den 1 month b4 my promos.
wishhh i could study with u. mish~ u. take care

happy.or.not.to.be.....

2005-08-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

i m kinda happy now.yet feeling pessimistic..
i told myself alot of times. happiness depends on urself.
its u who will be happy. its you who decides to be happy.
sometimes i noe i shud feel happy about everything.
i feel that my old attitude shud be changed. but.
i m however unable to change the fact i m very short tempered.
sometimes i ask my frens whether they hate me sometimes.
they would say yes.. but i realli didnt mean wad i do.
i noe. it sounds dumb. but i am rather dissapointed to think abt my past.
i felt i was pathetic. i felt i had no frens. i believe i dun haf now either.
well. i dunno whether i have true frens. who will go through thick and thin with me.
i feel i m being very very looked down by my frens.haix.
i noe. i might be arrogant at times. but i m definately doing it for joke.
not to snub ppl. i tried putting it in a joking tone. i wonder u guys knew?
haix. lets juz say i m quite pathetic.
hmm. ok sad things occur everyday. haix. today supposed to haf vball training.
i didnt want to go. coz i wanted to see the drag race badly.
haha... i noe. i SUX. well. sorri. but i m realli happy i went.
satisfactory return. saw a SKYLINE with anti-lag.
it practically rox to the core... LOlz.. at first see the start everyone thought it was useless.
coz it started with a few bursting sounds. like the whole engine broke down.
but it was the anti-lag. when it was doing that bursting sound. leaves were flying up.
awesome lar. den off it go.. realli. i believe its the onli eye catching car tat made an impression.
after all i m oso a skyline fan =p... lolz.. saw a few sylvias on the static display.
rox to the core =). if i had money i would definately go for a skyline or slyvia.
perfect em with their looks =)... haha. they rox man...!
haha. anyways i guess thats all =)... recently oso nothing much happening.
i will try to write more entries in future. =) haha... sorri bloggy.

bah.sianz.

2005-07-20T21:30:00.000+08:00

today is a rather sian day. -_-" SRJCians day.

haha. lame day lah. den got some video display. got amazing race.

den after amazing race went to dota with the dota gang.

haha. dam suay lar. random tio broodmother.

cant even play with with brood mama. lolz.

dat game i gif up le.lolz. den the next game. VS. that 1 still better.

more fun coz is i pick de. lolz.

den times up. no more computer. face volleyball le. haha.

went to 'gang' the ball with the wall. den found out i was so pathetic.

totally like cannot make 50 de lorhx. at most 40. but got a bit set to help.

haix. totally cannot make it. den juz now played in the pegasus game.

i felt so pathetic. could not even control my ball properly larhx.

haix. haix. haix. muz jia ba jing train hard le. muahaha.

anyways. tired liaos. now my jie helping me clean my oily facee!!! woO. haha.

So Yaaa... Take Care... Saturday Parents DAY.. OMG! o_o

why.when.u.treat.others.better.they.scold.u

2005-07-06T23:49:00.000+08:00

well. i dunno if i sucks like shit anot.

but i really sometimes forget somethings.

didn't mean to say those words.

when in the game. i really dunno what to say.

outside i apologised. no replies. dun care me wadsoeva.

u treat other ppl so well. but wad eva i said becomes a sin.

why? i realli wanna noe issit bcoz i m shitty?

pretty pathetic life i got now. i dunno wad to say.

haix. pathetic. now waiting for skool to gif back my test papers.

anxious yet have the failure in all my test feeling.

my chinese failed le.24/100. i noe quite nice.

nobody will fail more pathetic den me.

haix. oral i oso fail. wad can i succeed in life?

i dun wanna live without a satisfaction in wad i do.

but i cannot get it done. i have nothing to say...

mug.mug.mug.mug

2005-06-28T23:25:00.000+08:00

haha.so sian. tml gp and maths le.

alamak.dunno how i gonna die in gp le.

maths lehx. better hope i can do it.

if not i can jump down from the 9th floor.

according to wad mong and danny said.

haha. today.same old usual thing happen.

go school. slack. play. chat. everything but study.

haha. oso dunno why cannot concentrate on studies.

hmmm. gp. i tink i going to do marriage bahx.

haha. coz that the only topic i read lar.

the rest i dun care le. i juz did the aj mathx paper.

wahx. didnt noe got so much thinking to be done.

tot maths 'quite' straightfoward' 1.den no nid so much thinking

somemore my brain rusty liao lorhx.cannot think well.

hmm. this common test i basically scared of phys/chem.

haix.both so hard. 1 hard to understand.another hard to memorise.

aiyo.headache sia.haha. i tink i slpin at 12 bahx. lets memorise some chem NOW!

haha.anyways good luck to all u guys out there taking EXAMS!!!

^^ Jia YoU!!

sudden.depression.

2005-06-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

haix...i was doing my maths holi assignment..

den. all of a sudden i encounter the inequalities.

thought it was ez by lookin at the question.

ended up i dunno a single ans to it.

i jus simply wrote some workings. den wrote the ans.

altho they dun link. haix.

after i finished the inequalities. when i was already very demoralised.

here comes binomial. this 1 worst. simply cant do a single working.

haix. aiya.. i feel so useless. i always thought maths was my best sub.

now. i dun tink i got any sub that i m good in le.

i reali afraid i cant make it through the common test.

haix. kept saying i will work hard.

ended up i didnt even had the determination to do it.

i realli feel i m useless. simply a fool ..

missing.out.on.all.the.action

2005-06-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

^^ bloggin again... yay!... back to my old holiday me...
remembered that during the first 3 months i was bloogin like mad..
everyday trying to create a new blog image.. haha..
well... i guess this is my theme le.. dancing in the moonlight..
wun change anymore le. =P...
i oso very happy with my production of this blogskin ^^...

well. today pei daddy ... his bday. haha.
den i missed my volleyball outing. haix.
and i feel very pathetic lar. haix. i feel i m being v left out in vball.
everything seems to be against me now. yesterday i was feeling sad for 1 thing.
today another event made me worst.
i realli realli feel i m a tool. a tool that is not of any value.
sometimes i juz hope i wasnt this sensitive.
coz i realli feel like an outcast amongst em. haix.

anywayz. tml going to sentosa with 1S13.
haha. shuang!tml going to burn myself till the end!
den u will see my black like the charcoal.
haix. after tml.i promise myself to study hard.
i dun wan cannot make it past promos.
i wan go UNIVERSITY DE!!!!
haha. anywayz i go le. go watch show. cya tc.

misery.dejected.

2005-06-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

hello again.. been quite awhile eh? hehe... i have been busy with school and dotA for the past mnth.well. i dun have much to say. me, nern, mingyong, danny and chien shen going for the dotA competition at HCJC... we going there with high hopes sia.. haha.. but lets juz hope we make it back with a trophy! =P i noe we think too highly of ourselves eh... haha... might be organising a frenly with 1s06 to play dota.. if we lose den no nid play le.. lolz..

like usual... again feel very left out.. they went pool again.. never call me.. i wonder sometimes whether the problem lies with me? i really dunno... den again... i find that i m like a very useful tool to some of my frens. call me to come and go as they wish. i never tried to turn em down. its juz that i dun like the feeling. msg me to ask if i got something to borrow. something to dl. do things shun bian help him do. or maybe thats juz the old sensitive me. as usual trying very hard to make myself feel worthless now. haix.

new.blog.liao.

2005-05-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

remember the old blog i used to have?

that adware invested blog... haix... ever since the adware prob...

i never really posted any entries on it...

probably juz one or two..

neither did i check that blog that often...

so i guess its an isolated blog... a blog... which is so pathetic...

now... i created a new blog... i m oso creating a permanent look for this blog.

no more changing like once a month le... no more time to cope with the change...

A lvl so stressful... now my chem all this can die le lor...

hope promos i do well lar... at least dun retain i happy liao =)...

ok... i shall go create the blog background now...